Once upon a time....

While I consider myself very content with my life now, sometimes I remember how simple things used to be and I get nostalgic. I remember climbing my tree with a book, the cool breeze gently rustling the leaves. When the weather was too bad, I would hide under my bed. There was just enough space to get completely lost in my own wonderland. Nothing could touch me there and I felt safe. I remember playing make-believe with my friends. As far as we were concerned, we were fairies thrust into the mortal world from our utopia with the power to make a difference in our new home. Sworn to secrecy, we would tell each other our hopes and dreams. A fight with friends meant one recess solo before all was forgiven. My parents were perfect, and would always be there for me. Money was just something that happened to people that were good, and there would always be enough. Bad people were bad people, and it was easy to pick them out of a crowd. Homework consisted of coloring pictures and reading a book of my choice. I was pretty positive disney movies were based on true stories. I know I can never go back, but sometimes I wish I could escape for just a little while. Sometimes when I'm really stressed, nothing sounds better to me than hiding under the bed or climbing a tree with a book. I know I'm not the most mature person, but some things can't be changed.

Comfort Food

Many people find comfort in certain foods. While I also have my own comfort foods, I have always been one to head for my favorite books or movies. One of these is Persuasion by Jane Austen. I have always found a sort of hope within its pages. It follows a girl named Anne. Like most of Austen's heroines, she stands apart from her ridiculous family. However, she allowed them to persuade her to make a mistake that haunts her for years. Later, she is confronted by the one person that represents her mistake-the one who was most affected by it. She is given a second chance, but has to risk everything to set things right. This probably isn't the best description, but the story is amazing. I'm not really sure why, but I've been thinking about it more and more lately.

Goals

I started the new semester with goals. This is quite new to me. I make long term plans, but rarely make short term goals. It is so much easier for me to take each day at a time and let the consequences, if any, follow. However, this is probably not the way to go if you don't like staying up every night with the stress closing in on your fragile peace of mind. I started off slow: actually writing down my homework assignments. What a concept! I was able to make it each day without calling someone frantically trying to find out what the assignment was. Now I'm going so far as to write down other plans. I can finally hold together the shreds of my shattered social existence! Yay me!

Life is Good

There is no feeling to compare with that of which you get when you realize that everything you have worked for is falling into place. Every little step becomes clear, and you finally feel that cool sense of relief. You realize that all the worrying has been in vain. Your problems don't quite go away, but they shrivel in insignificance. It's like when you watch a movie that you've never seen before and you can't help but feel that slight tug of anxiety as the movie nears the climax. Sure, it's generally predictable enough, but you can't help but to doubt the character's capabilities. What if they can't make it? What if they get lost? What if they aren't saved? However, the movie comes to a close and your doubts are resolved with a happy ending. While my life is not a movie
(there's no fairy godmother to bail me out and bring me really cute shoes), I've been doing something right. That is enough to make me happy.

The Begining of an Addiction

The more you hear about my life, the more you realize why I have become hopelessly addicted to books. After a day of face-planting in a check-out line in walmart, getting chased around by a 5-year-old at work, and exploding my dinner, it's no wonder that reading sounds so good. The letters on the page stay put and remain unchanged, no matter where I am when I read them. It doesn't matter if I am stranded at a train station or spacing out in class, my book continues its story regardless of what is actually happening. It was always a bit of a problem though. After I had learned to read, I was notorious for disappearing when asked to do my chores. After searching everywhere, my parents would find me reading whatever I could get my hands on. They soon realized that the only way they could properly put me on time-out after such an episode, would be to confinscate the book. Not much has changed since then, whenever I get a moment in my crazy days I will probably have a book in my hands.